Monday, June 13, 2016

Christina Grimmie

Christina Grimmie was without a doubt the greatest woman I've never met.  I started following Christina on YouTube years ago after hearing her amazing voice in some random video.  Her voice is what initially perked my ears, but her personality, her kindness, and her sincere love for Jesus are what captured my heart and the hearts of so many others.

She was the purest light in our entire generation.  I truly mean that.  There is no one that used the spotlight and fame as purely as her.  Over the years, I've sat back and watched so many great young men and women start out so pure and be destroyed by the fame that came upon them.  Christina was special.  She was strong.  She overcame the temptations that come with fame and popularity.  She didn't sexualize everything she did like almost everyone else falls into the trap of doing.  She didn't change her style to fit what the entertainment industry would have wanted.  She didn't fall for the enemy's traps and succumb to the ways of the world.  She carried the banner of Christ high in the sky for the world to see.  And it makes me cry even just writing this to think about how she was taken from us so ruthlessly.

We need MORE Christina Grimmies in the world, not less!!!

Her murder reminds me of the evils in this world.  It reminds me that Satan is the "prince of this world" as scripture tells us.  She was the brightest light out there and darkness couldn't stand it anymore.

In the short time she was allowed with us, she brought strongholds of the enemy crumbling to the ground.  Wherever she went, she shattered the paradigm of the ways of this world and brought the kingdom of heaven in its place.  People would be suicidal, stuck in dark depression, and one small tweet from Christina could turn their whole life around.  One simple smile from her could bring people to tears. The Holy Spirit was so prevalent in her, and it was so easy to tell.

I feel so many emotions today, even days after her death.   I'm sad that I won't ever be able to meet her or even just see YouTube videos or tweets from her.  I'm confused as to why in the world this was allowed to happen.  I'm overjoyed knowing that Christina is with Jesus. I'm heartbroken for her friends, her brother Mark, mama Grimmie, and her father.  I can't even begin to contemplate what they must be going through, how they feel, how they hurt.  More than anything though, I am angry with the evil this world.  I hate the devil.  I hate him.  I hate his plots and schemes.  I hate his temptations.  I hate how he corrupts children of God to commit such dark deeds.  I hate how powerless I feel in situations that are out of my hands.  I hate how little I've done to combat such evil.  I hate how much time I've wasted wallowing in this world, instead of helping to bring light into it.

It is SOOOOO weird to feel so strongly about someone that I've never even spoken to.  I don't even know how to explain it.  I prayed for her regularly, almost daily.  I joked (well, half-joked) with my friends that this was the girl I hoped to end up marrying :).  I legitimately talked to God about that a lot haha....just asking Him to set us up and somehow make it happen; asking Him to build me up to be worthy of a girl like her.

I have known other people that have died:  My grandparents, a high school acquaintance who died while trying to rescue a child from rapids, a college acquaintance who committed suicide.....but those don't even come close to how I feel about Christina's death.  Not even close.  I'm heart-broken.  And it seems so strange to me, because I never even saw her in person before.

Christina, you have inspired me to draw closer to the Lord again.  You have given me hope of what people can be in the face of such strong opposition.  You were, and I'm not just saying this to flatter you, the overall best girl I've ever even heard of in my entire life.  So genuine, so beautiful, so precious, so kind, so loving, so funny, so interesting, so special, so filled with life and love...the only thing I'm mad at you about is that you've set the bar SO high for what I want the woman I marry to be like, that I don't know if I'll ever be able to find her :).  You brought so much good into this world....and I'm so jealous that Jesus gets to be with you and that you get to be in paradise with him.  I am going to finish the race that God has set before me, and after I have crossed the're the first person I'm going to come see when I get there.

God, please bless the Grimmie family, Christina's wonderful friends, Team Grimmie, and most importantly those people like the man who murdered her, who need you more than anyone.  Please forgive him for what he has done, as I know that is exactly what Christina would have wanted.

With deep love,